The Friction Point

Driving a manual transmission vehicle is something that not many people appreciate these days. For most people, it’s an unwelcome inconvenience. Vehicles serve as something to get us from point A to point B, potentially comfortably, and sometimes to make us look good. But for most of us, that’s about it.

However, there are certain people who don’t value driving as just a means of transportation, but rather something to be enjoyed. It’s something like working out—some people do it begrudgingly, only for the end result of [hopefully] looking or feeling better, while others do it, at least in part, because they enjoy the very act of doing it. You can often figure out what category people fit in by looking at them at the gym. Some people have the TV on, headphones in, and a magazine in front of them, as they plug away at the machine of their choice. Other people are in a zone, completely focused on what they’re doing.

And this brings us back to the beginning topic, driving a manual transmission car. I purchased my first stick a few weeks ago, and I feel like I’ve finally hit the point where I’m at a bit of a flow with the machine. Unlike an automatic, where you stab at the gas and the brake while electronics whir and buzz and make the magic happen, in a manual, you have to do a little bit of the work yourself. My car isn’t going anywhere unless I can ease the 3,000 lb+ weight of my car onto the 2.0 liters of engine that are just trying to keep running.

At this point, you may be wondering where I’m going with this. I assure you, there is a point coming.

In order to start off from a stop, you must put the transmission into first gear, and ease out on the clutch until you reach the friction point. The friction point is the place in the pedal travel where the engine, which is spinning at roughly 800 rpms, meets the transmission and wheels of your car, which are not moving. This is where most people screw up, because often they blast past the friction point, and suddenly there is something that’s going to happen—either 200 horsepower is going to win, or 3,000 lbs+ are going to win. And the answer is that the weight of the car is going to win every time. 

You can’t just throw all of that weight at the engine all at once. That’s why, when you reach the friction point, you must pause, and give the engine a few moments to start muscling all of that weight up to speed. If you get to the friction point, and just pause for a moment—do not add any more gas, do not move the clutch anymore, the car begins to move. All that’s required of you is that you just pause, and hold things as they are. The engine and transmission, after a moment, will be ‘hooked up,’ and you can be on your way down the road.

There is, of course, another side to this, that those manual-drivers out there will point out. You can, instead, give the engine a ton of gas, and drop the clutch, and what’s going to happen is that your tires will squeal, and wear out. Your clutch will wear out. And your engine will wear out. 

There are a lot of things in life that are like this. There are so many things in life that just require a moment at the friction point. Sure, lots of problems can be powered through, with heavy application of gas and lots of tire squeal, but that makes things wear out very, very quickly. And you can just ignore the friction point altogether, but then you’re going to stall, and then you’re not going anywhere.

There are conflicts in life that require this same sort of treatment. One side or the other can overpower and win, but things aren’t going to last that way. The better solution is to find some sort of equilibrium, where you must hold things (often in discomfort) for a bit before they settle out. It is this discomfort of just holding things as they are, not applying any more gas, not feeding any more clutch, that is so very hard to do sometimes. But often, it is necessary for things to go smoothly down the road.

Gay? Whatever, Dude →

There’s a really interesting article in the op-ed section of the New York Times, highlighting how a 2010 Gallup poll revealed, for the first time, the percentage of men and women viewing “gay and lesbian relations” as morally acceptable has surpassed 50%, and this is actually higher for men than women! It looks like being anti-gay is becoming passé.

Also interesting was the following finding of another earlier poll:

For instance, in a February New York Times/CBS News poll, half of the respondents were asked if they favored letting “gay men and lesbians” serve in the military (which is still more than 85 percent male), and the other half were asked if they favored letting “homosexuals” serve. Those who got the “homosexual” question favored it at a rate that was 11 percentage points lower than those who got the “gay men and lesbians” question.

Looks like the times they are a-changin’. 

Caring for your Online Introvert →

I think this is a great article highlighting some of the differences in the way people deal with online vs. in-real-life communication. 

My line between friendship and acquaintanceship is this: if I’m ever in a hospital will this person take time out of his day to come to see me? I can’t say I count on but a dozen or so followers on Twitter. And how often they @ me isn’t a measure of it.

Drill, baby, drill.

Culling Facebook ‘Friends’

As my college undergraduate years come to a close, I’ve come to the realization that a lot has changed—both as far as who I am, and who I choose to surround myself with.

In the ‘age of social networking’ that we live in, my Facebook feed is cluttered with tons of people that I don’t care to hear about. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with these people, or that I have ill wishes upon them. There are many stories. For some, we friended each other before college in hopes of meeting at some point, and that never came to fruition. For some, we met once or twice and never became any more than that. For some, I never even met them, have no idea who they are, but for some reason we’re still friends on Facebook.

So I’ve decided to purge my friends list. I doubt it’ll happen all at once, but nonetheless, it’s time. I find some resistances in myself as I go through this, the primary thing being that I don’t want to get rid of people that I know, almost as though there’s a sense of loss. But the truth is that this ‘Facebook friends’ thing means next to nothing for people you barely know. There are people on the my Friends list that I didn’t even recall were on my friends list. And this sense of loss I have at removing them is ungrounded, so I’ve got to get over that.

The second kind of resistance I seem to encounter in myself is a feeling of losing out on potential friendships. This is also unfounded, because if I’ve been ‘Facebook friends’ with some of these people for so long, and we’ve never made the effort to get to know each other, chances are it’s not going to happen. And if it’s going to happen, chances are that the venue will not be Facebook. 

So, I’m getting over these mini-fears of alienating potential friends, and instead focusing on those people I do know, do care about and do want to pay attention to.

Apologies for this stream-of-though post, hopefully it makes at least a little sense…